


Who Are You?

by Alices_Madness



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Dean is hurting, Hopeful Ending, Hurt, M/M, Seth is to blame, its not hurt/comfort, lots of hurting, more like hurt/hope, no editing we die like the men we arent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-10-19 09:57:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alices_Madness/pseuds/Alices_Madness





	Who Are You?

The cold, unforgiving metal burned.

It lingered days after the attack. It replaced the warm bed after long nights on the road. It erased the feeling of love. For months, he grieved. What had he done? Not done? He had always been there for him, and he returned the favor with burning steel.

He never even said goodbye. Dean came back to the apartment one night to find it gutted of all Seth's things. He was gone from his life as quickly as he had entered it. A punch, Dean had been taking those since he could remember. They barely phased him anymore. Chair shots, he could deal with them, got them often enough. But this, this was different.

It was the last thing Seth ever gave him, this pain. And Dean held it close, remembering it. Years later, he had built a cage around it, he made it part of himself. He had kept it close for so long, that when Seth tried to make up for his actions all those years ago, Dean turned away. He remembered the steel digging into his back, he remembered the bruises. He wasn't about to let him inflict that kind of pain again. For the next few weeks, Dean kept that pain close, but he couldn't stop himself from running out there and saving Seth. And he hated himself for it.

Years. It had been years. Barely a text, not even a call. Left with that pain. And now suddenly Seth wants back into his life? Not fucking happening, not today Satan. He remembered that night in vivid detail, able to recall everything. But despite that, he could still remember how it felt to fall asleep next to him, knowing he had someone to turn to when the nights got rough. Sure, he had Roman, and Roman was a great friend. But for him and Seth, they had a bond Roman didn't understand. There was something there, more than friendship. They clicked, on a level they hadn't known before. Seth knew something was wrong before Dean did. But that may have had something to do with Dean repressing his emotions till he couldn't really decipher them anymore. Dean knew exactly what Seth needed at any given moment, an icepack for his ribs, a hug, someone to remind him he was loved. It felt like they were made for each other, like the stardust in their veins were from the same star. Hearts carved from the same stone. Endless nights in nowhere towns they wouldn't remember in the morning. Those were theirs. Their legacy to the world, a giant middle finger to those who would take their happy ending away from them. He never thought it would be sabotaged from the inside.

Now, it was different. Dean found himself struggling. Hugging his knees to his chest, trying to stay strong through another rough night. Roman asleep in the room next door. Raw was tomorrow, he needed to suck it up, he needed the sleep. He had to stop hoping for_ him_ to come help. He wasn't about to bother Roman, he needed his rest more than anyone. He sure as hell wasn't about to call Renee. She would worry and dote over him all day tomorrow, he didn't need her to do that. She had her own life and work to worry about, she didn't need to worry about him too. His mind wouldn't stop racing. He couldn't stop his mind from wandering back to the good years when nights like these were easier when Seth was there to hold him. To remind him he was here, that he wasn't alone. But those times would never come again. Seth fucked him over, leaving him alone with nothing but pain to remember him by. He had to remember that. Remember that pain. He wasn't going to let himself get hurt again. Seth would try again tomorrow, no, tonight. Its 1 am now. He would try again to get Dean to forgive him. He wouldn't, no, _couldn't_ let himself forgive him. He wasn't about to let himself get hurt again for a few nights of happiness. He would stay strong, tell Seth to fuck off, and he'd be fine. He'd be fine. He'd be fine. He'd be fine. If you repeat it, you'll believe it. Right? He had spent countless nights alone when he was young, and a few years with someone, he couldn't handle them anymore. That didn't matter. He would muscle through, he always did. He had too. A few rough nights weren't enough to make him throw himself into the fire. A few rough nights weren't enough to push him back just to get hurt again.

That night kept replaying in his mind. The chair shots. The pain. He couldn't let it go that easily. He held onto this pain for so long, it was part of him. The pain had made him who he was. The endless nights of bruises and aches and pain, he was made of these. He gave his body, mind, and soul up to these things, he praised them like the gods above. Since he could remember, pain had always been there. He thrived off it. But this pain was different. It stuck around, lingering in the background, always there, stinging. It was part of him.

Who would he be if he let it go?

This statement stuck in his mind for the rest of the night. He never got any sleep, his alarm sounding uselessly. He made coffee, trying his best to ignore the nagging weariness that stuck in his bones. Whether he was tired from no sleep or from lying to himself, he didn't know. He went through his day, never quite with a clear mind. Who would he be? He had to hold onto that pain, its who he was.

Raw began, and Seth went out. Dean watched.

Pain.

Pain is who he is.

Who would he be?

Seth.

Seth stood, defiant, waiting.

Who would he be?

But,

Who would he be if he didn't?


End file.
